5th November 2014
Happy Hallow… Oh it’s finished. Truth be told, this isn’t a blog about Bonfire night but I thought it might be a good idea anyway.
For anyone who came here for genuine 5th of November banter, you have my apologies. Here’s a video I found called “Bonfire Night 2012 lol Funny”. It’s not funny AT ALL, in fact nothing happens, but another case of some evil genius with a misleading title. The gift that keeps on giving.
Well anyway, Halloween was interesting. I don’t always bother doing much at this time of year, but this was easily my busiest Hallows Eve to date.
The weekend before, I found myself trekking around a place called Scare Kingdom, an extraordinarily hands on ‘scream park’, designed to terrify and manhandle unwitting guests (at least the ones who agree to sign the disclaimer).
This gentleman does things to people in there, that I would think twice to even disclose on here, but needless to say, if you ever fancy being buried alive or aggressively water-boarded, then you might like this place (and counselling for that matter).
Anyhow I wasn’t there for pleasure, but for work, charging around with the lovely peeps from Hollyoaks. I don’t watch Hollyoaks, but I had it on good authority that the twosome below, along with the rest of the group we were with, were fully on it, fully.
My job was simply to run around the park with them and ask them a few questions afterwards, possibly the easiest few hours’ work of my life, at least physically, if not emotionally. It’s an odd part of the presenting lark, when you have to integrate yourself into a group of friends right away, and act like it’s the most normal thing in the world. It’s a bit like the first day of school, except in this case, the school was a cold, muddy farm where people scream at you a lot and touch you up in the dark.
This was interesting, a couple of days later and I was back down South, presenting the latest batch of O2 Guru films, direct from their ‘Possessed’ haunted house in the heart of London. Another day full of spooks and scares, but this time, thankfully, not on me.
They set up this grand, rickety old house (I think it’s used for horror movies and the like), packed full of scares, powered by everyday smart tech, before sifting through members of the public and the odd TV personality, to be recorded shrieking in fear. The day I was there, they had the animated Rylan Clark in the house, a much taller and louder man than I expected.
Whilst the majority of the day was a bit of a blur, I remember getting to hold a book in front of a roaring fire for a series of PTCs, which any fans of ‘Tales from the Crypt’, would appreciate how happy that made me.
FINALLY that brought me to Halloween itself.
I don’t often bother doing much for this time of year, but I’m a firm believer that if you’re going to dress as anything stupid, commit to it.
If it goes wrong, which it so often does (I found out when trying to dress as Kurt Cobain in a body-bag, and my bag fell off…), at least you go out in a blaze of glory / shame.
Playing it rather more safe, this little number turned some heads in 2011, at least that’s what I tell myself. In the spirit of committing, I painted over a perfectly good pair of boots, rendering them useless thereafter.
In 2012, I decided to glue (actually glue) hair to my face, hands and arms, for the love of the game.
In immediate hindsight, that felt like a mistake, (I lost a lot of real body hair that day) but down the line, I’m more ok with it.
And this year, I pulled off the greatest homemade Han Solo outfit known to man. Making the effort of taping a torch to a water pistol, buying a ladies jacket from a charity shop, ruining a perfectly good pair of jeans with some fetching red stripes, and destroying 3 belts along the way.
Alas, after all that, this picture is all I have to show for it, so probably another waste of time ultimately.
Never mind, it’s nearly bonfire night. x