Oct 14:14 Jonny - The 4 Month Blur (7)

Jonny Nelson

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So, I think the last thing I said might have been something about not waiting quite as long between blogs as I did between the first two.

If I’m not mistaken, that was about 4 months ago… so maybe I’ll avoid a catastrophe of empty promises this time around.

So what’s been going on in Nelson country?


Well, some things, some things definitely happened. I’m still alive, so that’s a start… and someone said my skin was looking healthy the other day, so that’s always good to hear. I think it’s all the milk I’ve been drinking.

In absence of an original idea right now, I thought I’d give y’all a quick overview (Is y’all ok? Do people still say that? Did people ever say that? I’m not entirely convinced I put the apostrophe in the right place), anyway I could use the recap myself, so I’ve decided to filter through a series of Facebook pictures from the last few months. This could be a useful exercise for all involved.

So, according to social media, my June started with a bit of this (I spoke about sports equipment, it was riveting, shuttle cocks and all).

There was some of this (free suits, sweaty onesies, pocket squares, glamorous assistants. Thanking you, Moss Bros).

A spot of this… This was a mistake, don’t drink this, even on a friend’s birthday.

There was also this… This was not a mistake, I regret nothing about it.

This was the most alarming thing I’ve ever had crawl out of a snack. Thanking you, Morrisons (for the voucher and nice apology, not the initial visual trauma).

But this was far more upsetting, all considered. Like Seymour Hoffman wasn’t enough.

(A good reason for a morbid if not satisfying binge though. If you haven’t seen The Fisher King, The Bird Cage or World’s Greatest Dad, then you should get on that immediately)


Doing skits on the radio with this man has been an unexpected pleasure. Sitting on a train to London, pretending to be on a train to Glasgow, haplessly reporting on the Scottish referendum, was like an out of body experience.

I’d do it again tomorrow, Welsh Assembly, your move.

Looking after these majestic beasts for a week was physically and emotionally exhausting.

Especially when they look at you with eyes that say, “I’m going to poo in the tumble dryer.”

Getting involved here was EPIC, if not ever so slightly terrifying.

My favourite advice leading up to it was: “When you balls up, and you will balls up, just try not to think about the hundred thousand people listening.”

Confidence inspiring.

And doing a bit of this was a laugh, despite an unflattering polo shirt (that is, talking about tech for O2, as opposed to pouting into mirrors like a demented sociopath).

I think that paints a detailed enough picture of what I’ve been up to. Aside from maybe some ‘jargon busting’ for BT and a near-miss opportunity to travel the world.

I wish I would make the time to write more of these, so I could actually talk about something more useful and interesting, maybe that’s what I’ll do for Stoptober, cease procrastinating in my spare time. Abstinence from alcohol is less of an option, there’s a free bar networking event coming up, and in this difficult economic climate, it makes no financial sense to turn that down, but procrastinating, I could try doing less of that.

Now if you excuse me, it’s just been announced that they’re making another series of ‘Twin Peaks’, so I have a box set to annihilate.

Jonny x