Ping Pong restaurant

Frankie Vu

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Last week my girlfriend and I agreed on an outing to the Ping Pong dim sum restaurant, to try out their ‘Lazy Sumdays’ all-you-can-eat offer. Can restaurants really advertise offers like this without expecting at least the odd customer who has (a) a MAHOOSIVE appetite and (b) no shame? Luckily for me, I fulfil both of these criteria. Challenge accepted.

Whenever I part-take in anything like this, I’m always determined to get my money’s worth – it’s in my blood. Anyone who knows me well will also corroborate the claim that I could eat for England. I’ve been warned on a few occasions that one day my metabolism will slow and I’ll spontaneously balloon out in several directions, leaving a congealed mess of curry and lasagne (two staple veterans of the Francis Vu diet)… BUT until that day, I’m determined to eat as much good food as I can manage without unintentionally auditioning for a role on ‘Man vs. Food’.

As the unsuspecting waitress began taking our orders, I felt the smallest trickle of remorse for the onslaught that was to follow, mainly because I was about to make the staff work harder than they had ever worked on a Sunday. This was going to be anything but ‘Lazy’. Order after order was brought to our table as the parties around us came and went. Perhaps they hadn’t taken the offer as literally as I had, or perhaps they had a stronger sense of public etiquette… but what could I do? I was still hungry. I was helpless to resist ordering more food.

A wise man once said, ‘all good things must come to an end,’ and in this case, that end was approaching. My girlfriend was full and beginning to reach unmanageable levels of embarrassment, and we were fast becoming the South Bank’s newest tourist attraction.

Content with how much we had consumed, we decided to ask for the bill. I could now smugly reveal that we had ordered, and more importantly, EATEN, enough food to equate to twice the fixed price of the deal. Bet they didn’t see that coming.

I came, I saw, and I had conquered the Lazy Sumdays all-you-can-eat offer. Best part is, I probably could’ve eaten more.

Francis 1, food 0.